


Blowing It

by AwatereJones



Category: Torchwood
Genre: Action, Drama, F/M, Family, Gen, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-01
Updated: 2020-09-18
Packaged: 2021-03-07 01:40:03
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 14
Words: 17,542
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26238742
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AwatereJones/pseuds/AwatereJones
Summary: so I wrote this for something and then realized it was getting too long so i am giving it to you and will have to write another, shorter story for the other project LOL Lucky you. So ... Herbil are here and they are not good. Drug smugglers that use a planet like a doss house and Torchwood need to clean it all up. One explosion at a time.
Relationships: Jack Harkness/Ianto Jones
Comments: 30
Kudos: 35





	1. Chapter 1

Jack was running.

As per usual.

His shoes pounding along the sidewalk as he swung around the corner and swore under his breath as the creature anticipated this, changing direction to run across the sports field full of rugby players mid-game. Herbil are known for their agility, speed and ability to blend in with humans. They were hard to catch and harder to keep hold of due to their ability to pick locks. Almost as painful as Blowfish. The squelch of grassy mud didn't help his footing and he knew he would be lucky to get across as the bloody Herbil glanced back at him with manic glee knowing full well it had…. BOOM!

The tackle had come from the side, slightly high actually … a red card sort of even if not for the fact the man who had tackled the Herbil clearly knew he was not tackling a fellow Rugby player, evident in the way he immediately struggled with the Herbil, ginning an arm behind it's back as it squealed with anger.

Jack joined the mini scrum, planting his knee on its back as he managed to struggle out some cuffs and they were snatched from him by the helpful player who clicked them home with precision, then fell back laughing.

"Jeepers Toto, that was a bit gnarly!" someone laughed "Hi Captain Harkness."

Jack looked up with surprise at the familiar voice, finding a VERY pale pair of legs, the mud covering them not enough to hide fact those legs did not belong anywhere south of a vampires crypt. He continued to let his gaze travel up past the baggy sticky shorts, lanky frame to find himself staring at Andy Davison.

"Hello PC Davison" he finally managed, rising to look at the Great Coat covered in mud, he knew Ianto would scold gently about as he tried to remove it "Damn. Ianto's gonna kill me."

"For the love of coffee beans!" a voice grumbled and the muddy tackler sat up to glare at jack who found himself staring at Ianto Jones extraordinaire. The muddy version.

"Ianto?"

"Sir!" Ianto growled "For Godsake … you couldn't drop the coat at the sideline? Look at her .. totally destroyed. I will have to let that dry and brush off what I can before it seeps into the wool too far."

"Ianto! You play rugby!" Jack said with open stupidity, totally flummoxed by the sudden appearance of his Archivist.

Ianto stared at him for a moment and then looked down at himself like it was a great revelation "Oh my god! That's what I am supposed to be doing? No wonder the pen kept falling out from behind my ear and someone kept tossing a ball at me like a numpty!"

Jack blinked.

"Cheeky" Andy sniggered, and then clapped Ianto on the shoulder. A wet sloppy squelching sound. "Looks like ya caught one. Best get rid before someone sees the Torchwood SUV in the feckin parking lot!"

As Andy started to walk away, calling out to everyone that it was just another drug addict that the undercovers were after so clear the scene, Jack held out his hand to help Ianto lift the Herbil to it's feet. Immediately it spat, Ianto leaning back so the blob of green slime flew over his shoulder and he looked at the thing with that Look of Doom usually reserved for Owen.

"So. Come on, SUV time" Jack huffed walking the alien from the field as someone turned from the crowd to follow. As they got to the SUV it was Ianto who swung to intercept the woman that seemed to be filming them on her cell phone, her pale pink sweat-suit screaming Entitlement.

"Sorry Madam, this is a lawful arrest" Ianto said calmly as he tried to stop her from getting too close but she looked him up and down, then swing her phone up and down as well.

"See? This scum comes here to our fair city and take one of our good men down simply for walking across the field on a lovely sunny day" she spoke in a nasal whine "These arseholes are probably not even police, probably kidnapping this poor man right under our noses."

Ianto was getting sick of this and said more fiercely "Madam. I must urge you to step…"

She swung around him with an agility one her size should not really have and for a moment he wondered if she was a bloody alien too. Why not. Place is full of them but he turned to find her berating Jack now while he stood looking at her with derision.

"He's right ya know. You best step back Ma'am" Jack finally said.

"AMERICAN!" she shrieked, trying to talk to … well … no one else was there so Ianto wasn't sure if it was the phone recording or some imaginary person as she roared "see? Bloody import coming here and shitting all over our liberties!"

"Sir?" Ianto asked softly "Permission to Tase?"

"Down Ianto" Jack said his amusement showing as he looked over the woman's head at him. Yeah, she was short. Short, rotund and clearly deranged.

Then the handcuffed Herbil leaning back against the side of the SUV spat.

The green globule hit her in the face, her screaming now high pitched as she started to choke and spit with horror, her hands flailing around as the phone caught some air, Ianto more alarmed by her noises as she started a horrible gargling sound now. Yeah, if you are wondering, he caught the phone with a flick of his wrist, slipping it into his pocket with ease. Ta.

"Shit, it's infiltrating her airways" Jack yelled, racing for the SUV as Ianto grabbed her, helping her to the ground before she started uncontrollable spasms, her feet drumming as she started to convulse.

"Jack? Sir?"

Jack returned, sliding along the pavement as he dropped to his knees. He stopped at her side with a containment box clanking on the pavement, and then he opened it up, almost fumbling now as he lifted out the device.

Ianto looked on with growing alarm as Jack held the flattened metal disc over the woman's face then seemed to hesitate.

"Sir? I do not believe she can breathe" Ianto said a calmly as he could.

"I just… the anatomy is different for a human … this might not…"

Ianto snatched the disc and activated it by holding it in both hands, pressing his thumbs into the top as he made sure the fingertips did not get near the opening. Yeah, the opening. The bottom of the disc swung open, large vicious teeth that then retracted as well to show the interior of the disc was larger than the outside. Ianto I did not question this development, his knowledge of the TARDIS enough for him to know that space was not relative.

The woman coughed, shuddered and then to Ianto's horror she stropped struggling as she started to pull her arms into her chest, the universal sign of surrender. She was drowning. She was fading fast.

Then the glob shot from her throat up into the disc, the impact making Ianto grunt as he felt the disc flick back, Jack catching the upward swing of Ianto's hands to help steady it and hold it over the woman for a second amount of glob.

She seemed to shudder and then to their immense relief she took a deep breath and flopped back to the ground. Her mouth open, gasping like a trout out of water. Jack took the disc from Ianto and turned it upside-down, the teeth around the outer edge starting to curl in and close then the door closed as well. Now a simple disc again. Simple. Slick. Heavy now, mind.

"Well … that wasn't so bad" Jack said happily as he sat back on his heels "sometimes they get a bit flighty."

"Flighty?"

"Their young" Jack shook the disc gently "It's how they do it. Like Nostrovites bite to transfer, they spit."

"So … those times they miss…"

"Like miscarriages I suppose. Never really thought about it" Jack screwed his face up as he considered then shook his head "Come on. You finished playing?"

Ianto rose and gave Jack a look that let him know Ianto was never really playing.

Not really.


	2. asking the questions

"Where the fuck were you two?" Owen demanded as he approached them in the car parking area under the bay where they usually entered the lower level elevator for work. His stalk was ballsy as he alluded to the fact someone else was there watching. Ianto looked to his left and saw Gwen there, sliding from her vehicle and felt a spike of annoyance. Right. Impressing her? Not likely.

"Clearly we were at a wonderful Spa Owen. It was brills… the youthful look is so this season" Ianto muttered as he slid past him and Jack stopped walking to strike his hero pose.

"Ianto? Do you still have the disc?" Jack finally called after the retreating suited man and Ianto didn't answer, instead lifting his left hand to show the glint of metal. Jack grinned wider and took off after him like a three year old after the ice-cream truck.

Owen watched them go and then turned to Gwen "What the fuck were they doing? Was Ianto in little shorts?"

"I think it's Ianto's day off actually. Did he have a footy game or something?" she answered.

"What the hell was the disc thing… and why was Captain Big Undies with him if it was his day off? You know… if they really are shagging it's not good. Ianto with his high and mighty attitude gets away with far too much. Shit, I didn't get a chance to save my girlfriend when…." Owen petered off, finally aware of the pain still lingering in the back of his mind. Katie. Oh. Right. He thought back to that day, losing her like that… Jesus. Something took over her… killed her. Jack held him, comforted him. Gave him purpose again. Is that why he is swinging at Ianto? Too similar? Huh.

"What is wrong with you?" Gwen demanded as she watched him struggling with his emotions.

"Nothing" he snarled back, feeling an immediate annoyance in her tone.

As he steamed off she shook her head and said to the now empty car parking area "And I am supposed to be the one with the time of month. God!"

Then she noticed someone still in the back of the SUV and sighed. Great.

Another inmate?

"Gwen, can you get the guy from the SUV into interview room one for me please? Wanna sweat him for a while so turn the heating up in there too please? Oh, and don't remove the mask. He's a spitter" Jack's voice seemed to sing over the coms with excitement.

Great.

.

.

.

.

"Jack?"

"Hmmmm?" Jack looked up from his desk where the disc sat, the pencil he had been poking at it with pausing mid-poke.

"Is it…."

"Still alive? Yeah. It's in there" Jack nodded giving it another half-hearted poke then he dropped the pencil and sitting back "there is a problem now is trying to work out how it got here. Those Herbil are not usually seen in the daylight, let along racing across the grass like that. Something going on I don't like at all."

"If he is here and capable of this … how many more are there?"

"Well … let's go ask him" Jack slammed his hands down on the desk to help push out his chair and rose, snatching up the disc and slipping it into Ianto's pocket once more. "Keep it close."

The two men walked down the walkway to the stairs then Ianto slowed, letting Jack take the lead in that way that didn't seem pre-rehearsed. Even if sometimes it almost was. Owen was still in the autopsy bay muttering to himself as Gwen paced around the upper edge, leaning on the railing now and then to peer down at him and pace some more.

"What's wrong with them?" Jack asked Ianto as he walked through the main Hub space towards the interview room.

"He doesn't want to shag her anymore" Toshiko answered with venom, "She's not taking it well."

Jack seemed to stagger, then recover himself as he glanced at Ianto, seeing no surprise there. God. Was he the last one to see this? Great Jaxton. Dropping the ball again! Did Alex and his psychotic break teach you nothing? Ianto seemed to glance over at him like he had somehow heard his self-scolding and then reached the door first. Strange right? Jack takes the lead but somehow, along the way Ianto gets there first to open the door for him. No-one ever seems to notice it … but of course… that's the point of a good man. Right?

Jack slid into the room and took the chair nearest the door, blocking the only escape. Well … the Hub was also not an area that can be easily escaped but the Herbil did not know that and after previous Blowfish escapes, it was the done thing.

Believe you me… a blowfish loose in the Hub is not as much fun as you are imagining my friend. No. Especially if Gwen shoots it in the feckin head before Ianto can stop her and Toshiko's entire workstation is blasted with fish brains. Er… OK… maybe it happened once…. Or thrice. Gwen is a slow at learning there… shoot and ask questions later.

"Right then" Jack said, stretching and letting his VM pop from the cuff of his shirt sleeve before placing his arm down… just in case the hapless Herbil hadn't clocked it already. "Let's have us a little conversation without the humans listening in, Hmmm?"

The Herbil cast an eye at Ianto in silent question and Jack grinned "Him? He's full Welsh."

The Herbil blinked slowly with confusion as Ianto leaned back against the glass, seemingly uninterested now. Then Jack reached back and held out his hand, Ianto calmly slapping the disc into it. Jack placed the disc on the table and the Herbil froze, suddenly VERY interested in the temperature of the room.

"Thought so" Jack leaned back in the chair to talk to Ianto like the Herbil was not even in the room "apparently Junior here is a little unimportant to these people and maybe…maybe we don't tell him that UNIT are on the way to scoop this artefact up. Probably lock it away… or destroy it. Wonder what happens to junior inside it?"

Ianto looked at Jack long and hard before saying softly "Dissection?"

"Hmmmm" Jack pulled a face then let the chair fall forward onto all four legs again, staring at the Herbil who was string to hyperventilate in the corner "Is he OK? Looks a little … well. How are they supposed to look? Is that the natural colour do you think?"

"Hard to say" Ianto huffed, pushing off from the wall and reaching out to scoop up the disc "I will shove this in the freezer until they get here to…"

"NO"

Ianto froze, then turned to face the man now on his feet with wide pleading eyes, hands splayed out "PLEASE! NO!"

Jack grinned like the Cheshire cat "Well … seems he wants to talk after all."


	3. preparing to knock

"In case anyone cares, the woman has made a full recovery at the hospital, no lasting effects and the new Retcon injection Owen developed has worked perfectly" Gwen said as she stood behind her chair at the conference table like she was giving some sort of speech "Also, I think Owen needs some recognition for …"

Gwen! Sit!" Jack bounced into the room and the rest of the team dismissed her to look at him as he made for the chair with a look of determination. She looked at Toshiko who was already scribbling on her pad, Ianto who was sitting stoically with his own pen poised for directions and Owen who was… swinging in his chair while throwing a little ball up and down, catching it neatly each time.

She sat down with a huff of annoyance.

"Right. So we have a location for the horde. That's what a group of them are called. A Horde. Also … we need to remember that they do not like people knocking go on the door and this could get messy." Jack sat back and looked around the table then turned to Ianto "Whatcha got?"

Ianto looked at him like he hadn't expected the question, then rose and clicked something in his hand so the screen on the wall came to life. He had expected it after all. "Farmland, out on the outer edge of the Barrens …"

"Awwww fuck" Owen whined to himself "More fucking countryside? What the fuck is it with…"

"Owen" Jack said sternly "Hush now or it's a time out again."

Owen pouted and motioned for Ianto to continue.

"It's opened by a shell company that Toshiko has worked hard to pare back, seems it comes through as part of the Sirius Group." Ianto paused and looked at Jack who sat up straighter at the mention of an Alien Organization that they had dealt with previously and not in a good 'sharing a cup of sugar with the neighbor' kinda way. He continued "From what we can devise from the blueprints, county records and such … they have owned this place for about thirty years. A middle aged couple currently are considered the owners by those in the nearby village. It's a thirty minute drive from the nearest one. There is a little pub slash B&B out here where the cliffs start that is used by hikers in the right season, apparently this is the place they go to pick up supplies they order from the local butcher and such. Pork mostly. The male comes to pick up these supplies once a month. Doesn't speak much, seems shy. Of course we know it's the fact a lot of them probably don't speak English, Galactic Standard the most common language for them. He cannot fake an accent."

"Nah. Can't be arsed" Owen muttered "Let's get to the knocking on the door bit?"

.

.

.

.

.

Ianto was curbing his anger as Owen complained at the side of the road. His feet stomping it the peaty grass to show how horrible the countryside is while ensuring dirty mats on the back of the SUV when he got back in. After the last Pie Cart fiasco Ianto had asked Jack to stop at a little ice cream place instead and Owen was currently trying to eat an eight scoop ice cream as Gwen complained about a drip of chocolate ice-cream that had gone into her cleavage. Toshiko was holding both ice-creams with a look of quiet acceptance as Gwen shoved the handful of tissues into her boobs and grumbled that she would smell of chocolate now.

"Better than that flowery shit you chose today. Stinking us out in the back" Owen muttered with annoyance and Gwen swung on him, shoving him and making the ice-cream topple, three scoops falling to the dirt on the side of the road. Owen gaped as the scoops slowly sank into the peaty bog he had created himself.

Ianto sighed softy as Owen went off on one, tantrum fully engaged as he snatched the ice cream from Toshiko and threw that down, then stomping on it for good measure as Toshiko gaped, then dropped the other on in her hand with annoyance.

"Owen. That was Tosh's one you killed ya know" Jack said through a mouthful of ice cream "She had the mint."

Owen stopped jumping up and down to turn to her with an apology... well … this is Owen so it was sort of an apology but Toshiko was not having any of it, storming for the SUV and clambering in , slamming the door and staring straight ahead with smoldering rage.

"Shit" Owen sighed "Bags not sitting next to her!"

Ianto walked over to the SUV while Owen and Gwen resumed bickering about who has to sit in the middle as he opened the door, looking at the angry woman.

"Mine was mint too … you know I hate ice cream and only got it so he could have it if he can fit more. Here … it's starting to melt. Hop in the front and enjoy it" he said softly, "Just don't be shocked if he feels up your knee when he forgets we swapped."

Her face changed to delight as not only did he offer his totally pristine un-licked ice-cream, but his seat in the front passenger spot beside Jack. One he had fought to get in the first place with Jack finally saying he wanted Ianto for the GPS as Owen was shit at it and the girls both needed to read the files on the way. Gwen had been right put out there.

"Are… are you sure?" she asked with glee.

"Go on. I will have to separate these two or it will wind up with me confiscating cell phones and god knows what other punishments. No naughty step around here" he deadpanned and she giggled as she slid out, accepted the ice-cream and as he helped her up into the SUVs front passenger seat she leaned over to kiss his cheek.

"Thank you Ianto" she said softly, his soft blush as he nodded enough for her to know he would stop those two from annoying her from now on.

At least someone around here was a gentleman.

..

.

.

.

"Tosh?"

Toshiko had finished her ice cream and everyone had piled in, the group had started off again and Owen was trying to apologize in his usually annoying way by poking at her around the seat. He tried again and Ianto said softly "Keep that up and its decaf for a week. I told you already, leave her alone for the duration!"

Owen huffed as he threw himself back, folding his arms to pout as he glared at the back of the seat like a three year old.

"Keep it up" Ianto sing-songed, settling back with his tablet as Gwen cursed and put her cell phone away. He glanced at her "Still out of range?"

"Yeah. He was going all the way to Devon with the load but I hoped he had started back by now to be in cell phone range. I hate when he is in the dead zones, always a dangerous place to have a breakdown or something. Not that I don't trust Rhys' driving… but he is not the only nutta on the road though, ya know? Must have stopped for a pie or something somewhere. Him and his gut." She grumbled.

"Rhys is doing a few long hauls lately" Ianto pointed out.

"We need a bigger flat. Our flat is pants. Total pants. And if his parents offer to let us come live with them one more time I may but my wrists. Or their throats" she grimaced.

"Oh dear. The In-Law dilemma. Lisa's hated me. Pasty white boy with no future. His father even offered me money to dump her early on in the piece. Her brother threatened me and I wound up showing him that I can defend meself ta. Head butted him into the middle of next week. I think it was about them that Lisa told them I was an Estate Kid." Ianto smiled softly "They really kicked up there. Didn't want me in their house, didn't invite me to any family dos. It really upset her and she eventually cut ties with them. Of course… after Canary Warf they had their funeral with an empty coffin, cried and went on. They had disowned her for loving me. She gave up everything and … and I failed her in the end like they always said I would" Ianto stopped talking, looking at his hands as he settled back to silence. Gwen could not thing of anything to say in response so she let her hand rest over his clasped ones for a moment, squeezing gently before retreating to remind herself that she was lucky to have such a good man when Ianto had lost everything for his love.

She didn't know how he could breathe really.

Of course it never even occurred to her that he had Jack.


	4. the quick and the dead

"OK. This is where we will set up our camp" Jack said as he slid from the driver's seat and stretched, everyone else pouring out to look at the old stone building.

"What is that happy shit" Owned demanded.

"It was a B&B before the road changed, pulling the tourists to the other side of the township. Now it is rented out for film crews and such. Why … wanna get a tent?" Jack asked his voice so sugary sweet that Owen stopped immediately, recognizing the threat in the smile.

"Well … I want to wash up!" Gwen demanded as she strode confidently to the building and then turned back when Jack whistled, Jack flicking the keys at her as he continued to eyeball Owen. Seems he was sick of the whining too.

"Be useful and help Ianto unpack!" Jack demanded "Get Toshiko's stuff out first so she can set up her mobile station. Make amends!"

Ianto sighed as this meant he was humping everything else. Right? Right. Gwen already yelling from the doorway for her bags. With a glare at Jack he went to open the back of the SUV and Jack seemed to hesitate, then consider the possible cause of the scowl in his man's face and followed, reaching for Gwen's bags.

"Sorry Ianto, I did mean I was going to help too" he said softly, Ianto drawing back from him to nod like it was no big deal but Jack knew he was getting pissed off now. Owen had been pulling on his temper all afternoon and it might snap soon. "Tell you what, how about you get the food situated and a brew going, yeah? Owen and I can do the luggage. Yeah?"

Ianto recognized the apology and nodded grabbing several bags of groceries and walked to the building as Owen raced around Jack to yank out one of Toshiko's crates. "He is the one who needs a catnap."

"He doesn't sleep much" Jack said absently as he reached for another of Gwen's bags "insomnia."

"Really? He never told me that? Not in his records" Owen straightened up "I'm his doctor. I should know that… how long has that been happening?"

"As long as he's worked for me" Jack replied "sometimes he will wander the lower levels all night filing things, repairing things and entering old flies in the system before they are too water damaged to read. Lucky if he gets three hours in a night"

Owen frowned as he watched Ianto approaching them for more groceries and bit his tongue, determined to wait for Ianto to come to him. Jack simply lifted the two heavy bags and walked to the building like they were full of air.

Owen hefted the crate and started to waddle with soft grunts from the effort, then Ianto sighed, placing back the bags of food to help.

Jack was right.

Toshiko first.

.

.

They were eating … of course. Ianto feeding them with a look of quiet doom as they poured over the plans for the little farm house they intended raiding come first light. Apparently Jack was sure that these Herbil things slept in the mornings, from just before dawn to almost midday. A raid in the morning would be best to disrupt and discombobulate them. Big word that. Owen took some time to scoff at Ianto for that one until Toshiko gave him a look that had him shutting down as fast as Ianto's 'decaf' one.

"So … it is a simple stone house, looks open plan with the bedrooms upstairs … bathrooms, laundry and kitchen to the back. We simply go in through the front door and… what?" Jack stooped talking as Ianto poured over the photos on the website, the Google Maps ones and then some drone shots "You wanna send up a Drone again?"

"I want to see the back of the house" he nodded.

"A cliff" Owen said sternly.

"No, I think Ianto's right" Gwen sat up in her chair, "One of the first things they teach us on the force is to watch our six… what. Owen, stop laughing at me."

"When will you get over yourself" Owen sniggered "You're not on the force now PC Cooper. You're Torchwood. We don't give a toss if you did some acting in a controlled environment with a supervisor watching the role play and assessing your point system or some shit. We blow shit up around here!"

"Owen!" Jack scolded in the most unscoldy way.

"Ianto wants a Drone … he gets a Drone" Jack finally said and Toshiko looked over at Gwen who looked like it was her victory. Ianto was not sure if it was or not.

Soon Toshiko had everything set as Owen flew the mini Drone over the house "See? House. Door. Yard. Fucking big cliff!"

"What's at the bottom" Ianto asked.

"Of what… the house?"

"Ianto means the cliff" Jack caught on and leaned forward "You thinking old smuggler's cave systems? Could this be one?"

"A lot of coves around there, smuggling for over a century around those parts. Would stand to reason this innocent little house in the middle of nowhere night there in a cove may just be a doorway to an underground facility." Ianto pointed out and Jack nodded.

"Oh come on. They don't seem that clever!" Gwen scoffed "He was running across a footy pitch for Godsake! Now they are international … sorry… galactic smugglers with an underground bloody lair or something? Sneaking their shit up the coast in a submarine or something?"

"Actually, as much as I hate to say it … Ianto's right" Owen was suddenly serious "These coves and inlets are smuggler's runs. Have been for generations and some buildings and barns even, were built over something else as a well hidden entrance way. Shit"

The screen showed what they had feared and Ianto had known.

A cave hidden in the rock face of the cliff, almost totally hidden except for the dog running out of it wagging it's tail and barking. Followed by several more. All big. Teethy things.

"So… they have security then" Owen said blandly "Bags not killing those."

"Me neither" Ianto frowned as Toshiko shrugged.

"Drug them? Meat? We can drone it in?" she pondered.

"Clever girl" Jack smiled as he pointed at her, a piece of chicken dripping from his sandwich "That would work."

"So what do you suggest. We simply walk up and knock on the door then?" Owen asked.

"No. I do. Toshiko, you and Owen get down the bottom to secure the drugged dogs… and cut off their escape, Gwen… I want you incapacitating the vehicles….. Ianto, you waiting in this fence line here… this old rock pile of a stock wall with the sniper scope in case I need backup while I walk up and knock in the door."

"why does he get to be the sniper?" Owen asked with a childish pout.

"Because he can shoot" Jack said, pulling a parody face back, then turning with a clap of his hands "Right. Shit. Shower. Sleep. Owen takes first watch since he is so clever today, then me. Ianto... I will wake you after midnight, Toshiko, you around four, should see up to six when you wake Gwen."

"Why does Gwen only have to get two hours at the end of the bloody night?" Owen huffed.

"Because she is still the newest member" Jack reminded him "Not fully trained in night vision and the rest of you have been on stakeouts before with the goggles in use."

"Oh. Oh yeah" Owen sighed "I hate those goggles."

.

..

They all had their jobs, full stomachs and determination as they took their positions, Jack taking a moment for the coms to all link in before he walked confidently up the dirt road to enter the gate and walk to the door, knocking gently as he called out "anyone home?"

A woman opened the door, portly middle-aged with an apron on and a tea towel flung over her solder like he had interrupted her doing the morning dishes. "Yes, can I help you?"

""Hi there" Jack smiled as he stepped back to let her see that he was just a traveler. The boom of the shotgun was not as unexpected as you might think.

After all … this breed did NOT seem to like him on sight.

.

.

The sound of the gunshot had Owen and Tosh crouching and running for cover as the now tethered sleeping dogs lay protected behind a partially overturned row boat. Both of them looking furtively around before Owen sighed and turned to her "Jack?"

"Probably. He does seem to get shot a lot when door kicking" she shrugged as she rolled her eyes.

Ianto had flinched as well, not sure if he should shoot or not but then two men exited the house to drag Jack's body inside and Ianto stood down. It was all working as planned. Once inside Jack would be able to see the operation. Hopefully.

Ianto just hoped they didn't shoot him too many times and was a little glad the Great Coat was still in the SUV. He lowered the rifle and let out his breath then froze, rolling to his back to look up at the one standing over him.

Fuck.

He was quick.


	5. And so it begins...

Jack woke with a sharp intake of breath, then cleared his throat and looked around. He was laying face down on the floor near the fire place, clearly dragged and left as they found something more interesting and he cursed to himself as he saw Ianto sitting at the nearby table calmly talking with them.

"No. Seriously. I have been after him for a while. He's a slippery bugger and I think he was trying to get in here to hide from me" Ianto said, smiling softly as he tapped the table "Dead or alive, he's still worth a tidy sum to me on the bounty. Come on … let me take him and I will give you …. How about a finder's fee?"

"Why should we believe you?" one of the men sneered, the Mickey Mouse t-shirt two sizes too small and weird on the huge muscle-bound creep.

"Check if you don't believe me. Go on … he's wearing a Vortex Manipulator that no longer works. The Agency disabled it when he stole it off the dead agent who last cornered him and went rogue. Go on… there on his arm. That is the Time Agent Murderer I have been seeking, I am not leaving here without him!" Ianto said forcefully now, leaning forward to show a flash of danger, his eyes wide with honesty "I will kill all of you to get to him, I will flame the entire fucking world, this planet means nothing to me. You… mean nothing to me. I just want him! I understand the honor of your kind and am trying to give you something for your higher-ups to be pleased!"

Jack lay there watching the glances at they had a silent conversation and he knew Ianto was wining the argument. After a moment Ianto added "Tell you what. You seem like intelligent … business men running a brilliant operation I have no interest in reporting to anyone. How about … let me take him and not only can you keep my sniper rifle, I will get you ten more! Ammo too?"

Now they were interested, leaning around him to ask when, how, could they trust him and he knew he had them as he leaned back in the chair and waved a hand nonchalantly. It was all going as planned, well not to plan but you know what I mean … even better as Jack had the chance to run his eyes over everything in the place as he hoped Owen and tosh were still doing their part in that smuggler's cave.

At least Gwen will have done those vehicles right?

,

,

,

,

The sound of the gunshot had made Gwen drop to the dirt, then roll under one of the high base vehicles, now laying there in the mud panting with adrenalin as she told herself to calm the hell down and stop being a drama queen. It was probably just Jack. Again.

It was while she was down there that vehicles started to enter the yard and she felt a wave of fear wash over her as a door opened, feet appeared and voices filled the previously quiet space.

Then expensive, flashy boots slinking into the mud had her cursing and reaching for her comms unit, tapping at it furiously until Toshiko answered her "What? We are supposed to be on comms silence."

"Blowfish" she hissed back as quietly as she could "A fucking school of Blowfish just entered the parking yard and are heading for the house. Junior is with them."

Toshiko and Owen groaned as the Blowfish Kingpin's juvenile delinquent son was the thorn in their side. Also … let's not forget the small fact he knows Jack and Ianto all too well. He was about to blow their cover… big time.

Inside the house Ianto tried not to flinch as his comms came to life, then he rose from the chair suddenly making everyone jump, including Jack whose comms had not clicked on "Look. I can't stay any longer. I have a time to keep, if I am not at the rendezvous point to dump his arse off, I might not get paid. We have a deal … right? I scoop him up and go?"

"OK" finally Mickey Mouse Man nodded "Agreed."

Ianto knew it would mean walking past Junior and the others, relieved Jack had left the Great Coat behind and the puffer jacket hood hid most of his features. His own puffer jacket was not his usual fare either, if he was quick he might…

"Someone's coming" a Herbil said with confusion, rising to peer out the window then stepped back with open alarm "Junior. Why is he here? We were supposed to meet tonight for the money transfer. He has the weapons already. Right? We filled our side of the bargain? He has some with him, he must have them then!"

Ianto turned to look down at Jack and their eyes met as they thought the same thing at the same time.

_They were in the middle if a double cross._

Ianto didn't think twice, dropping to the floor and covering his head with his hands as those with him looked down at him at their feet with confusion.

"What the hell are you…"

The world seemed to explode as the Blowfish opened fire from the outside with automatic weapons, the sound deafening as people danced a strange tango of death, bullets ripping into flesh, bone, wood, brick … anything and everything inside the building seemed to explode and splinter, flying around as Jack started to crawl towards Ianto with horror.

Why the hell hadn't this been seen, why the hell were they even in business with the Blowfish and why now, of all days did the blowfish Pricks decide to double cross their business partners. At least now Jack knew the back story. Who the smugglers were here as Herbil were known to be followers, not leaders. They had outlived their usefulness and were now about to pay the ultimate price for trusting bottom feeders.

Jack reached Ianto and slid over him, then looked around with growing alarm as the gunfire didn't stop. Upstairs shots rang out, answering the volley and Jack cursed softly as a fight began between Herbil and Blowfish, the rain of bullets through the lower level at least lessening as they answered the upstairs contingent.

Jack looked around and swore again, then pulled Ianto as he crawled toward the large entertainment sofa sitting in the middle of the room, the full wall screen hanging there to watch from the comfort of said sofa was obliterated so they had to crawl through glass to get there and as they did Ianto took the cue from Jack to help flip it over, using the seat and base as extra protection as they lay there trying to get their breaths back.

Then Jack looked at the base, looked again and then at Ianto who looked at Jack, frowned and looked up at the base. Then at Jack. Then they both reached out to pull the base bottom down, revealing the arsenal hidden inside the sofa.

"OK … maybe I like Herbil a little after all" Ianto choked out, reaching for a sawn off shotgun and pumping it to check if it was loaded and Jack reached for a semi-automatic with a clip already in it. Sad to see that they had planned for ambushes, had the place set for this but never saw it coming. Idiots, had seen too many gangster movies. Jack shook his head and then took a deep breath, popping his head op to look out the shattered windows of the building. He popped back down and looked over at Ianto.

"Well?" Ianto asked sweetly almost like a lover in the bed asking about birds on the windowsill "How many then?"

"Like… twenty?" Jack pulled a face as Ianto gaped at him and swore softly in Welsh. Jack grinned as he popped up again, this time seeing them starting to walk confidently towards the house "And they are coming in."

"Like fuck they are" Ianto growled, popping up beside him to take aim and Jack looked over at him with something akin to …well… glee I guess… as he watched the Welshman grimace and pull the trigger, one of the blowfish outside exploding in a rain of chum.

Ianto fell back down as the rain of bullets resumed and grinned at Jack "Did you say nineteen?"

Jack sniggered, reaching out to slap Ianto on the arm then rose, letting off a spray, then falling back don "Nah. Sorry, you're right. Fifteen I think."

The two men laughed with mild hysteria as the place started to look unrecognizable, the soft rain of debris falling on them constantly. Then Jack popped his head up again "Ten. Looks like upstairs popped off a few more."

Ianto looked over at him and asked "See the bodies? Can't those fuckers climb?"

Jack fell back to the floor and looked at Ianto for a second or two and cursed softly "Yeah. They can. Shit, you think they are gonna come down from the top to get those upstairs?"

"Wouldn't we?"


	6. running in the dark

Three Blowfish were running across the cobbled roof, their footfalls unable to be heard above the gunfire below them and as they reached the chimney they crunched to start pulling at the slate cobbles, exposing the wooden roofing below and the black tar paper. They seemed focused and determined, then one of them stood and stepped closer to the edge to look down at his comrades, seeing some of his people down and he made a noise of annoyance, then turned to look at his two brothers.

And the chimney.

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Soot.

Ianto glanced over as soot wafted down the chimney and he seemed to find himself transfixed as more fell … then a lot. "Sir?"

Ianto reached out and thumped Jack who was busy returning fire with glee and Jack fell down to look at him, then over at the fire place and the soot still falling.

"Ah fuck. They are on the roof" Jack yelled over the din of gunfire "Looks like one fits in the chimney"

"No shit Sherlock' Ianto said to himself.

In the Smugglers Bay below the cliff and house that was under fire Owen started to run. Toshiko sighed as she checked her weapon and started to follow him into the darkness of the cave system. As she took a deep breath and then turned to see the small light behind her she whispered to herself "Here we go."

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Jack rolled along the floor to the fireplace and calmly fired his weapon up the flue space, then rolled back as the body of a Blowfish hit the grating below. He was not dead, convulsing and making a terrible noise louder than the spasmodic gunfire that was no doubt alerting those outside to his fate and Ianto snarled as he reached for the nearest thing, a candlestick that had fallen from the mantle in the gunfire and began to bash the fish in the head with it.

Jack seemed frozen with surprise as his Archivist viciously beat the dying creature out of it's misery then the gunfire resumed and Jack seized Ianto, pulling him back towards the sofa. They were not gonna make it if they stayed here he realized as he changed course toward the table thinking maybe they can tip it over and… what the fuck it that? A trap door? They looked at one another and made a decision.

Stay and die by Blowfish.

Go and probably die by Herbil hiding down there.

Ianto shrugged. Jack decided and hooked the finger hole, flinging the trapdoor up to reveal steps and they both slithered into the space, Jack pulling the door shut behind them as they both seemed to slide on the stairs on their bellies, guns at the ready.

"Guess what… I am out" Ianto said conversationally once their hearing was back and Jack grinned, as he answered "Me too. But they didn't take my Webley!"

The Webley appeared from his holster as he shook it at Ianto, who rolled his eyes with merriment in return. "Well … thank god for that. We are saved."

Jack started to snigger as he found his feet and stood, taking in the small area they were in. "Right. Root Cellar. Gotta be a hidden door or something out of here. Right?"

Ianto started pulling things off shelves and Jack agreed with the method of examination, sweeping arm-fulls off as they searched for a door or a handle and a way out of this madness.

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Gwen had finally slid out from under the vehicle and she rose with a snarl of annoyance at her muddy clothing, walked over to the two Blowfish having a conversation while sharing a blunt, shooting them both in quick succession, then swinging to shove the gun into the left nostril of the one sitting in the back of the vehicle waiting for his brothers to come back "Hello Marko. Shame about Junior... sounds like he walked into some sort of ambush right? I mean… who ambushed who? Your Da is gonna be pissed that you sat here while his favorite son got all shot up right?"

"Screw you bitch. I am his favorite" Marko snarled leaning forward only to find the barrel of the gun sliding further up his nose.

Gwen smiled sweetly "Are you? Then aren't you a pretty prize!"

Gwen pulled cuffs from her back pocket, "Come on little fishy, I gotta check to see if you are of legal size."

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Owen stopped running, listening now as Toshiko ran into the back of him and they took a moment to slap at one another with annoyance, and then settle to both listen intently.

"Footsteps" Owen finally said "coming this way."

"Jack and Ianto?"

Owen cocked his head to one side and seemed to consider the question "Would they be running?"

"No" she said softly, taking a shooter's stance as she raised her weapon "Jack would never run in the dark. He always said to me that you have to check your footfalls."

"Yeah. Yeah, he has said that to me too and that time Ianto and I were in the blackout it the lower levels he held onto me to stop me moving ahead too quickly. You know, Ianto has more training than me right? Yeah" Owen took his own stance and they prepared for incoming Herbil.

.

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Ianto and Jack were running actually. Hard not too when the house above them was their biggest danger now. Ianto was patting at his earwig to turn on the comms as he yelled "Evacuate. Everyone get back. Explosives are rigged down here... the entire place is a bloody bomb. Everyone… get back."

As they ran Jack let the flashlight Ianto had slipped him from his own pocket into Jack's hand swing up to check and as they passed brick after brick of C4 he felt a growing need for speed, seizing Ianto and shoving at him "Run Yan, run."

Ianto didn't need to be told twice, Jack's fear more deafening to him than the gunfire that had started to peter out upstairs.

When it stopped… so would everything else.

Finally after another couple of moments that seemed like hours they found a section without C4 and Jack turned into that tunnel system "Come on. I smell the sea. This way."

"Smell the… how? I only smell fucking gunpowder" Ianto yelled after him as Jack took the lead and they turned another corner to find Owen and Toshiko there, Owen crouched over some dead Herbil while Toshiko had her gun levelled at them, then lowered it with a breath of relief.

"What the hell!" she then roared "Running?"

"Bomb?" Ianto shoved a thumb over his shoulder as Jack continued to run past her and Owen rose, following him at pace while Toshiko swore softly, reaching down to hook a piece of tat from a shirt pocket as Ianto grabbed for her and they began running as well. The four of them burst out into the light of the little cove as time ticked down to zero and the boom of the explosion made them all fall to the sand and cover their heads instinctively, Ianto taking the time to fall over Owen even as Jack fell over Toshiko.

The building seemed to be made of matchsticks now, matchsticks and brick coloured powder as the entire area was filled with birckish gassy smoke and hunks of timber and brick started to rain down. Jack swore as he pulled Ianto to his feet and they turned to run back into the care system that had just been evacuated, the shock wave heaving down several things out in the walkway the size of killable projectiles.

The four of them clambered back inside and stood watching the rain of doom outside in the cove.

"Shit" Jack said after a while "anyone heard from Gwen?"

"Any chance her comms is flat again? Anyone see her place it on the recharger lately?" Ianto asked calmly.

Toshiko pulled out her cell phone and called her like it was nothing "Hey Gwen. Whatcha doing?"

She relaxed, nodded and then her face cleared "Really? Did you? Well, well, well. It will take us about… ten to fifteen minutes to take the scenic route back to you. Keep him on ice for us, don't want the place smelling too fishy."

Toshiko closed the call out and looked over at Jack "Gwen has Marko."

"Marko? Ooooooo, so that's why Junior is here. A power play. Someone set up their big brother did they?" Jack started to chortle "Daddy is gonna be pissed!"

"Yeah... and our fingerprints are all over it" Ianto sighed knowing the last time any of them tried to communicate with the Big Fish was a disaster … right now a blowfish mess was the least of their concerns.

Owen crouched and picked up some books, turning them over on his hand "Hey... what's this?"

Jack accepted one and looked at it with interest then grinned, shaking out the sand before he explained "Herbil handwriting. Looks like you found their little notebooks on the operation. Good find Owen!"

Owen puffed out his chest as he looked from Toshiko to Ianto, the clear unspoken 'Nah nah ne nah nah nah' as Jack praised him. Ianto glowered at him as Tosho shook her hair, letting debris and sand fall out.

"I don't know about anyone else, but I wanna get back to the B&B. I need a bath!" Toshiko said as they started to walk towards the side track that lead up the side of the cliff "This place smells."

"Could be worse" Ianto said to her softly "Could rain."

She started to giggle as Ianto motioned up at the uncommonly sunny morning.

"Yes, and after all ... we now have the rest of the day to explore the town and maybe have a late lunch" she replied through her giggles.

"Yes. Get a souvenir tea towel or something" he agreed as he offered his arm.

Owen was still so happy that he was the praised one today that he didn't care about their joviality. The three notebooks he had ferreted out clutched possessively to his chest.

All in all … not a bad morning's work.


	7. baiting the trap

"No. I will NOT tell you where Marco is" Jack said calmly as the man on the other end of the phone screamed with rage and threatened all sorts of things. Then Jack added "The ambush was Marco's idea to get rid of Junior. After all Herbil do NOT play nice. I know… I was there on another matter and they were totally unprepared to see your guys with their automatic gins… firing on us."

"That was not authorized!"

"No? Well… listen to this" Jack said, playing the recording of Marko scoffing that now his brother was gone and he would take over, how he would destroy the other families and take over the entire length of Great Britain like his weak father never could. As soon as he eliminates his father, he will have it all and Torchwood would pay "See? He doesn't need your protection anymore. He's the big man now."

"Seriously" Jack said after the silence went too long to be comfortable "I just want you to understand that dealing with these creatures does nothing for this planet, or you kind. They are pond scum, you are better than that. Look how they have brought your son down, they have brainwashed him into forgetting his place. Check your people round you, make sure there is not someone there ready to take you out for Marko."

Jack turned to look at Ianto who was leaning back in the doorway's frame him at his desk and he relaxed as he watched Jack smile "Yes. We can do that, an exchange. We give you him and you give us all the strongholds they left their stuff in. We will clean it all up for you and forget we ever had this unpleasantness. Hmmm? Let's not muddy the waters, Torchwood will take responsibility for the cleanup, your hands can be clean. I know. Not often I help you but … I do feel for you here. Losing a son, another to blame… I just hope you can remember this favour one day."

After Jack hung up the phone Ianto sighed and asked softly "believe him?"

"No. Rule number one with a blowfish… they are full of shit" Jack replied with a huff. "He was in bed with them, hook line and sinker. He just didn't know his son was about to undercut him. You OK?"

"Yeah. Just need to shoot out for a little while. Apparently my nephew is in trouble at school for something he broke and I need to go give my sister some money to fix it and look terrifying in my suit so the school backs down from their threat of a stand-down. He can't get another, not this year. It will mean repeating the year."

"David?"

"I know. David. The one who gets in trouble for talking in class and forgetting his bloody homework. Has two stand-downs this year. One for breaking up a fight between two other kids so got one by association as did three other boys …. and one for speaking back to the teacher. I have to say… it was colourful language. The teacher said something about Estate Kids … David reacted, as did half the class. But to cause damage? Physical reaction? I am as surprised as you but she sounded really upset about it. I will swing past the money machine, drop off the money, intimidate and charm … and be back in about two hours?" Ianto surmised as he watched Jack flop back in his chair.

"Alright, bring back some food?"

Ianto waved absently over his shoulder as he headed out of the Hub.

Rhiannon had sounded so upset, so unlike herself.

He must have done something really bad.

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.

Ianto entered his flat expecting to find his sister there awaiting, her car in the parking space she always used. He ws still not sure why she came to him instead of the other way around but as he neared his flat a small voice in the back of his mind told him it's thoughts on the matter causing him to slow his walk to consider things.

He opened the door to his flat and entered, seeing Rhiannon sitting where he knew she would be. At the table in plain sight. He causally shrugged off his coat as he said "Colder than a witch's tit. Remember Da always said that?"

She blinked as she looked at him owlishly. He never spoke of their father. Da means violence and…. He knew. She tried to hide her relief as he told her that he was not Ianto. Not Ianto at all. He was Da. OK. She placed her hands palm down on the table as Ianto asked "Where is David?"

"In the other room. Mimi is still at her school... it's just the two." She replied calmly.

"OK then" Ianto stopped walking, standing near the refrigerator like he didn't know there was a man around the corner with a gun waiting for him to step into range, his sister staring straight ahead like nothing was wrong. The great thing about a stainless steel kettle is that reflection. Ianto could see clearly what was waiting for him "Ready to do this?"

"Like always" she replied, and then let out her breath as Ianto made a noise in his throat and then swung around the fridge, his gun rising to shoot the man in the face as Rhiannon did what she always did when Da came home from the pub looking to hurt someone. She slid under the table and covered her head as gunfire erupted around the apartment, the man for the other room running out to help his comrade.

Ianto had dropped as well, taking a knee to pivot towards the doorway, still firing as the man ran out of the bedroom to dance like a marionette as the bullets hit.

Then came the silence as Ianto rose and looked around the apartment, finding David in the bedroom with his head under a pillow crying. "David, come out of here to your Mama."

He looked at his uncle with open shock, and then slid out to run to the other room, clambering under the table to cuddle his mother as they both wept. Ianto continued to rage softly, and then call Jack. It was while he was hitting the speed dial for Jack that he turned to look at his sister and wonder why she was still underneath the table.

Then he saw the door to the apartment swinging wide open … not closed as he had left it and he felt a spike of alarm.

A third?

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Chaps will be a little shorter now as you have had the part prewritten and now I am adding chaps as I go and try to see where the story is heading. As you can see … it really needed to be more than just the 6 original chaps … it needs to go forward.


	8. hello there

The arms thrown around him from behind answered that and he yelped as he was lifted off his feet, swung around the man's hip to slam into the wall, the plaster giving way like the cheep cardboard and lashings of plaster this entire building seemed to be.

Ianto was on his feet staggering away, then as he got his bearings he turned back as the man showed surprise at the recovery, then Ianto ran at him, a low and dirty tackle as he lifted the man off his feet this time, slamming him back into the wall. Of course… Ianto knew where the studs were and where the main support beans were. This was his apartment after all and the man roared with pain as his ribs gave, Ianto following it up with a good old-fashioned head-butt.

"Uncle!" David called out with shock as the man swing a knife at Ianto and Ianto clay kicked the fucker in the balls, and then accepted the knife as man folded to the floor to assume the foetal position for a while.

Ianto stood looking around his flat with annoyance as he fished his phone from the floor. "Sorry sir… seems the Blowfish aren't the only ones who don't want to play nice after all. I think their financial backers are getting a bit shirty."

Jack was yelling down the phone as Ianto crouched over the large one still whimpering on the floor, looking closely at him now, then sighing as he saw another breed of nasty he knew only too well "I have three Humanoids in my flat … all smelling of fish and one clearly had the orange tinge to his skin of a Gerp!"

A Gerp. Shit. What the hell had Junior and Marko been doing behind their daddy's back?

More importantly … what has Torchwood stepped in?

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The phone call was full of obscenities I will not bother typing here. Seriously, humans are not half as clever as Blowfish when it comes to obscenities and Jack was not interested in something he excelled at, preferring to swing in his chair.

"Are you done?" Jack asked sweetly.

The tirade started again so Jack simply disconnected the call and dropped the phone on the desk then glanced over at the team watching "OK Owen … what the hell did you do?"

"Well … I sent the photos of him to show he is alive, the newspaper clipping behind him to prove date and shit." Own grumbled.

"And?" Jack prompted.

"OK. Maybe I sent a box of fish fingers with a note saying this guy did not cooperate" Owen sniggered. "and asking if he recognizes this man?"

OK. That was funny. Even Gwen sniggered, then frowned at him as she struggled to hide her amusement.

"So… ah" Jack rose and turned as the klaxons sounded and Ianto entered with a look of doom, his sister and her children. Jack watched him take their coats like they had entered another home, not some secret lair full of amazing things. David's eyes bugging out as he drank it in, even as Mica still clung to her mother with confusion.

Jack skipped down the stairs as he called out "No Johnny?"

"Out on a bender, they can have him if they can catch him! I sure as hell can't." Rhiannon answered with that Jones Backbone, watching the handsome man approach and then to her shock he turned to Ianto, taking him in his arms for a momentary hug before releasing him with hands sliding over him in question.

"I have some new bruises, nothing more" Ianto said softly, stepping back to show his discomfort in the display in front of his sister.

"Hi Captain Jack Harkness" Jack offered his hand to Rhiannon "Welcome to Torchwood."

"Torchwood" she repeated with her eyes narrowing, turning to look at her brother "You said this ws a mate's place."

"It is. Jack is my mate" Ianto said nonchalantly, then blushed as he let his chin tuck into his chest.

"Is he your boyfriend?" Mica asked in that little voice of hers and before Ianto could answer Jack did.

"Yes, he is" Jack crouched to look at the sweet child "And you must be Mica. Uncle Ianto is so proud of you, keeps a photo of you on his desk and is always rushing off for your dance recitals. I came once, you were in yellow. Something about spring I think. You looked special."

"The Easter one!" she lit up. "I didn't see neither of you."

"We slid in the back. He always slides in the back in case he has to leave. When you work for Her Majesty you have to be ready to leave whenever work calls" Jack crooned, totally smitten with those wide doll-like eyes "I would be lost without your Uncle Ianto to keep me on task. Her Majesty is sort of fond of him too."

"Stop it" Ianto grumbled "I didn't want them to know what I do, remember? The Secrecy thing?"

"Awwww, a bit mote now. Some aliens just tied to kill you in your own home in front of your sister and nephew. Kinda lets the cat out of the bag the minute they started bleeding blue blood, didn't it?" Jack grinned as he rose and clapped his hands "Right. OWEN. Who wants to see some aliens? Owen. This is Owen, he will take you to see some of the aliens here that are not scary, OK? I need to talk to your mama and uncle. I think he might shout a bit… he does that. Pace and grab his neck and rant a bit. David… you look like a man who would like to see some guns. Maybe Gwen can …."

"Stop it!" Ianto snapped "Not now Cariad!"

"Oops, he's gonna go off on one now" Jack said theatrically rolling his eyes.

"Mama does that too" David sighed theatrically "But she does wear herself out after a while."

"DAVID!" Rhiannon scolded then snorted with mirth as she looked around the base "So. This is why he doesn't come around much anymore."

"No. It's probably because of me. I don't like sharing him and I sometimes get shirty with him when he goes to yours and leaves me here. Your husband is a bigoted prick and Ianto hates the gay jokes all the time. Given the fact he's Bi." Jack smiled like they were discussing the weather. "Comes back depressed."

David did not move, staring at Jack, then over at Ianto who noticed the boy's shock and he felt his heart sink as he said softly "That's right. David. I'm a Nancy Boy."

David nodded and then said as he started to move after Mica "So … that OK right? To like boys too?"

"Boys. Girls. Its. Them. Hrs. Er… give me a sec… too many different designations" Jack screwed his face up as he considered, then waved a hand "Basically David my man … love is love and to label it or confine it only lessens the experience for everyone. Right?"

David grinned as he nodded.

After he had run to catch up to Owen Jack turned to Ianto.

"He's gay."

"I know" Ianto sighed as Rhiannon blinked and stared after her son.

She hadn't seen it before.


	9. tails

The call came before midnight. Everyone asleep in their designated beds in the guest dormitory, Ianto still pacing quietly in Jack's peripheral. "Hello. Captain Jack Harkness, how can I help you?"

Jack had been polite and friendly, as he always is when the private number for the Brigadier flashes on his screen and he listened with mild interest as the Brig told him some bloody Blowfish had appeared with a worse for wear looking fat Welshman demanding some sort of trade.

"Oh dear. Sounds fishy to me" Jack said, then giggled as the Brigadier sighed softly. "I already have a Welshman. Most svelte and sexy… I don't know if I want a fat one. Tell me… is the fat fuck called Johnny Davies?"

Yes. Of course. Hmmmm. So … the Blowfish wanna play … they made a tactical mistake thinking Torchwood would answer to UNIT. Jack was impressed though. He hadn't thought them capable of thinking around a problem. Only thing was… Jack didn't answer to UNIT. They answered to his boss same as him. Like it or not.

"We will come get him then shall we? Are the fishies still there too?" Jack asked then nodded thoughtfully as he pondered, then watched Ianto enter the left corner of his gaze. "Well … that is not my problem. Johnny is family to one of my operatives. Not by choice. Why they are trying to strong-arm us into giving up one of theirs we have on ice… pardon the pun. Of course… you can't make us give him up like I couldn't possibly ring her Majesty to make you… wait. Sorry. Let's not piss on one another's leg hmmmm? Take the fat blob, we will come get him and tell those blowfish they just annoyed us even more with this. Hmmm? OK."

Jack closed out the call and sat back with a huff of annoyance.

"I'll go" Ianto said softly, breaking the silence with that melodic voice of his "Thy will recognise you and think they got you out of bed. I'll do it and they will be pissed that this stunt didn't even warrant your personal attention. Also … they will see they got the wrong one. Maybe we all look the same to them? Like they do to us?"

Jack nodded agreeing that he had the right plan. He will pretend he didn't' even know they had done this, pissing them off when they call to scoff tomorrow. He grinned. Maybe tomorrow he would call them. Ask weird questions about Blowfish care. Mating rituals or something?

Ianto knew that grin.

Jack was going to play some games. Best get Johnny Fuckface first.

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Johnny was sitting in an interview room. When I say sitting I mean slumped over the table hung-over and totally bereft as his rubs ached from the beating and he knew Rhiannon was gonna kill him. All he remembered was throwing up outside the pub… then someone attacking him in the dark. In the trunk of a car and now here. Everything else is little hazy. God. Smelt of fish too.

The door swung open and he tried to sit up, determined to be stubborn when the men entered to blame him for something and one of them asked "This him?"

"Yes."

Johnny looked up with shock as his brother-in-law looked down at him with the stoic annoyance he seemed to have all the time. Like someone resigned to waking to their death by firing squad to save the world or something.

"Do you want to see the fish?"

"Oh god. Are they still here?" Ianto sighed, rubbing his face "bloody blowfish!"

"Three of them. They are in another room thinking they are about to get some sort of reward or something. Calling it the Ticket?" the Lieutenant said with a frown "You know what they mean?"

"Meal ticket. They want the son of their boss. Marko. Only… you don't' have him. We do. They are too thick to realise we are different organisations and bringing Johnny here for a prisoner swap only pissed the Captain off." Ianto explained patiently "So … it's up to you what you do with them. They have no leverage against us and now they are poking at you for it. Good luck getting rid. They will smell the place up for days! Personally I would throw them back … small fries."

"God. I hate the fish men" another man muttered "Wish we could shoot the lot of them."

"You're not the only one, pity there are so many. Like bloody rabbits, the way they breed" Ianto shivered "Come on Johnny. I will take you to Rhia and the kids. Just be warned … she's pissed and shirty at you for not answering your phone."

"They took it" Johnny said, still beyond confused as Ianto waved him towards the door "Wait a sec. They've dropped the charges?"

"Charges?"

"For having a brawl in the street with the silly fucks in the fish-head costumes!"

"Right. No. Ah… they really are their heads. They are an alien species called blowfish. You really were fighting Aliens. Don't worry .. they are not poisonous. At least… not the males. Come on" Ianto propelled him along the corridor and one of the UNIT men asked Ianto a question as to how to tell the difference between a male and female.

"The only way I can tell the difference is that the males are afraid of the females. If you see them shy from one or look slightly alarmed… probably a female. They don't come out much. Don't like humans. We are so ugly to them." Ianto had him to the doors now and turned to address the UNIT men one last time "And by the way…. Just wanted to say that you are all very nicely turned out today. Not single uniform out of place. I do admire pride in one's appearance."

Then they were out the door as the men preened and let them go, moving fast towards a large black SUV with TORCHWOOD stamped along the side of the front fender.

"Keep moving… fast" Ianto warned "The Blowfish will realize you are going and will kick up… like that!"

The side door swung open and two blowfish appeared yelling as they tried to run after them and UNIT quickly surrounded them. They got in the vehicle and Ianto took off up the ramp, a salute form the man at the entrance as they sped past and Ianto absently returned it, then they were in the night-time traffic, moving fast toward the base.

"What the fuck!" Johnny finally said.

"Yeah… they were faster than I thought they would be" Ianto said as he checked the rear-view and punched the com link "Sir. I have a tail."

"Ooooo, Tiger. A tail?"

"Blowfish" Ianto said blankly, not in the mod for Jack's funning "Looks like a gas guzzler .. some sort of … yeah… Cadillac?"

"Convertible?"

"How did you guess?" Ianto grinned as he looked up at the CCTV camera they were passing under, seeing the camera move slightly to check behind them as the huge Caddy slid past.

"OK … I'll get Owen up." Jack said with glee "He likes night fishing."

.

.

.

Thanks for your kind words. Dave did not make it, his heart too badly damaged. Thankfully despite the Pandemic his wife and two of his adult children were allowed to be with him as he passed away.


	10. bang

"What the hell!" Johnny yelped as Ianto hit the gas, singing around a corner like he was in a racing car. "This is not a scene from the Fast and fucking Furious!"

"No. This is Men in Black" Ianto replied as he swung the wheel again, the car behind them coming with ease. Like he wanted it to. Gotta bait the hook ya know. Ianto came over a rise and as he did so, he cut the lights plunging the vehicle into darkness as Johnny openly screamed with horror.

"Hush, you'll scare the fish." Ianto quipped, swinging once more to slide in behind the dumpster.

Johnny sat panting as he stared at Ianto, still braced in his seat like they were travelling. "What. The. Fuck."

Then the car roared past, the thumping music fading as Ianto stomped the gas, following them now. Johnny looked over at Ianto "Gonna turn the lights on?"

"And give us away? Don't' be silly. This is so much more fun" Ianto replied with a manic grin as a vehicle appeared over the next rise ahead of them, identical to the one Ianto was driving, lit up like a Christmas tree with blue running lights under it even. Owen was on a roll. The vehicle caught air, no doubt Jack yelling in the passenger seat as he let Owen let that freak flag fly. Ianto didn't have to know what music was playing. Techno funk. Jack hated it, no doubt gritting his teeth as Owen drove like a maniac.

The large Caddy followed, the sparks as it hit the ground, then caught air only to slam back down and belly itself, something that made Ianto grunt with annoyance. Waste of a good car. Never mind. Fishy now anyway. Then Owen did a 180, spinning with that handbrake manoeuvre he liked to use when chasing prey to light up the fish and blind them.

"Christ! They're gonna hit them!" Johnny yelled with horror but at the last moment the fish chickened out, swinging their wheel and unaware of the large ditch on either side of the road. They were soon nose down in the mire, their brake lights flickering up high in the air.

Ianto now turned on his lights and casually cruised to a stop as Owen ran around the doomed car crowing and making lewd gestures. Jack stood with his Hero Pose employed watching as Ianto exited the vehicle to walk towards him in the headlights, a silhouette with light behind him like some deity or entity from another land. God he looked gorgeous, that body moving like a cat stalking prey and that pert waist, the gorgeous arse…. Jack sighed.

"So. Are any still alive?" Ianto asked and Jack finally remembered what he was doing, grinning as he spun to watch Owen drag one into the light, the yelling and writhing telling them this one was definitely a wriggler.

Johnny finally got out of the vehicle to stare at the fish, then look at Ianto "Bloody hell. They really are their fucking heads!"

Jack looked at him and screwed his face up like he just sucked a lemon, then turned to Ianto and made the face again.

"I know" Ianto muttered "apparently my sister likes him though."

Jack grunted and made the face again.

.

.

.

.

They were in the elevator heading down to the Hub, Owen standing there humming to himself as he loosely held the Blowfish's arm and Jack continued to stare at Johnny openly … like mouth ajar and intense look.

Ianto was trying to ignore the lot of them, totally exhausted and fed up with these bloody fish. This was supposed to be a simple drug shake up. Not this shit. Now where did the Gerps come into this? What the hell did they want with this lot? It didn't make sense. None of it did.

When the fish stopped whinging Ianto turned to Jack, intending to ask him if he was hungry. Maybe they should get something in and he was preparing for Owen to demand sushi for the reaction from their captive but then Owen grunted with surprise as the blowfish yanked his arm free and Ianto turned slowly as the creature bobbed down to crunch on the floor.

"BLADE!" Ianto yelled as he reached for his weapon but the space was so enclosed with the five of them in there he knew Jack would do the same… which he did … and Ianto instead popped down the same as the Fish and yanked the blade from his own ankle support, slamming it into the fish's left eyeball. Ianto put his weight into it and the two of them slammed into the corner of the lift, Owen yanking Johnny to the opposite corner. Jack had the Webley out but was unable to fire. Ianto already yanking out the blade, a slurping noise as the eyeball followed, bouncing to land on Johnny's foot, then Ianto slammed the blade into the thing's chest, lurching it upwards as he roared with anger.

"I think it's done" Jack finally said as Ianto finally moved back to what it writhing in death throes.

"What do the Gerp want!" Ianto demanded, reaching for the blade one come as the fish squealed with pain and fear. "TELL ME NOW OR I WILL MAKE THE PAIN TENFOLD!"

"Herathia!" the fish screamed then gargled through the blood bubbling out of its gills "She is here! They seek!"

Ianto glanced up at Jack who was gaping at the fish with horror, the word meaning something ot him. Jack aimed the Webley and fired, the explosion of fish bits slapping against the men, the walls… Ianto's face. But Ianto never took his eyes off Jack, slowly rising to be eye level with him.

"Herathia" he repeated "She. It's a she? Who is she?"

"She was a member of the Shadow Proclamation that was disrobed for accepting bribes" Jack sighed as he rubbed his face "She named and shamed those she had helped in exchange for release. She was told she could go into the universe as a clean skin, those hose named were all punished."

"As in…"

"Well let's say John and I got a few names from the list to… punish" Jack grimaced "not proud of it. He enjoyed himself."

Ianto sighed as he looked down at himself and grimaced "Great. Fish, Gerps and now a bloody ex-shadow."

"Yeah. Great" Jack groaned as he leaned back against the wall, then remembered they were not alone.

Owen looked between the two men and then said "Well … I am not so hungry now!"

Ianto nodded, the smell cloying in the small space. "Maybe to sushi for a while then."

Then the ding as the doors opened to reveal Gwen standing there with her coat on about to go up to let Rhys in. She looked between the two men the most covered then over as Owen who was pristine as he at least stepped behind Johnny at the Bang moment.

"Really?"


	11. shower, food, action

Gwen decided to take the 'other' lift and Jack stood watching her go majestically up into space as she texted Rhys to come to the water tower instead. Captain Boom-Boom had struck again. He would be pissed at having to book it around the corner of the building but can't be helped. Jack is a force of feckin nature, that one.

"Bet she's calling me Captain Boom-Boom again" Jack said to Ianto, poking at him as he glowered back. As Ianto rolled his eyes Jack grinned and waved energetically to Gwen, then he turned to look at Johnny "Right. He stinks."

"Right now Sir, we all do" Ianto muttered, motioning for Rhiannon to stop hugging the mess and then they all headed to the shower block. She was glad the kids were still asleep, what a bloody mess.

"Right, towels and some fresh clothing" Ianto muttered, opening cupboards and removing a sweat suit for Johnny in the largest size he had, some undies, socks and t-shirt then handing them over as Jack walked past with his own toilet bag. Ianto blinked with surprise as Jack usually bathed in his own bathroom but whatever. Right now Ianto was too stinky and tired to care.

"What about the lift?" Rhiannon asked as she watched her brother preparing to wash too, "Want me too…"

"No need. Self washing" Ianto replied as he walked to his own locker and removed a fresh suit.

Owen was already at the shower he always used with his bundle of messy clothing shoved on the seat as he toed off his shoes "I like these shoes. Yan? Can you save these shoes?"

"Owen… you only got some on the cuff of your pants and the soles of your shoes walking out of the lift!" Ianto scolded, and then shrugged. "Sure. I will save your shoes."

"Ta" Owen grinned, dropping his pants to display all his glory, stepping into the spray as Rhiannon's mouth fell open. Ianto realized a beat too late why Jack was there and turned in time for Jack to do the same, standing naked and semi erect in front of the hapless Johnny whose mouth fell open with shock.

Rhiannon looked him up and down, and then turned to Ianto who had decided he didn't really care anymore and was also now naked walking past them to Jack. Jack winked as he stepped into the cubicle, then leaned out and said in a cheeky drawl "Hey, wanna conserve water with me big guy?"

Ianto kept walking into the cubicle past Jack and disappeared in the steam, Jack winking before going in as well and Johnny stood with a new horror forming on his face "Are they… did they… fuck, did you see…"

"Yeah. Pretty evenly matched I would say" Rhiannon replied as she thought of her son and the need for Johnny to be more accepting, then cleared her throat to look at her gormless husband "well? Get into the water then. The kids will not let you sleep with them looking like that now!"

Bloody hell" Johnny yelped as she slapped his bare arse and he shot into a cubicle, only to shoot back out as Owen laughed hysterically inside the steam.

"Your own feckin one!" she roared and he went into an empty one as Owen's braying laughter continued for some time.

.

.

.

"Herathia" Jack said as he tapped his VM, a 3D image on the table revolved slowly. She seemed pretty, blonde, petite and …well… normal.

"Shit, could be any blonde out there. Christ, might have shagged her already" Owen morosely muttered as he rubbed his still drying hair with his towel and grumbled. Ianto walked behind him, taking the towed to vigorously dry the remaining wet hair and Owen sat there like a big child enjoying it. Rhiannon watched from the doorway as Ianto saw to the big kid who was now asking for something to eat.

"I ordered pizza, should be here any minute. Toshi is upstairs waiting for it" Ianto crooned, patting the man's shoulders and he then worked the hair into a cocky spike. Jack grinned as Ianto then walked around to sit to his left, his own hair perfectly down as always.

"Anything we can do to narrow down her probable location?" Gwen asked.

"Nah. That's the problem. She's wily" Jack grimaced.

Ianto tapped his foot and then leaned forward "What does she want? Like … really. Must be something she wants … to be involved in all this crap."

"Well, the Doctor was involved in the disrobing … maybe she is here because she knows this is his favorite haunt? Looking for him?" Jack shrugged "she swore to get all those responsible for her downfall. So far three off the board are gone."

"So… right." Ianto leaned back and pulled out his tablet, tapping away as Owen asked about the food again and Toshiko entered with it right on cue, Owen hooting as he rose to help her open the boxes.

"Are the kids up?" Jack asked as he looked over the ten different pizzas, "Breakfast of Champions this!"

"Did Soda come too? Where are the fucking Garlic …oh. Ta." Owen said as five garlic brads were placed down, snatching an entire one for himself.

"OK. I just purchased an old telephone box from the council offices. We take some blue paint with us… paint it and make a show of bringing it back here on the back of a flatbed." Ianto said as Gwen stood straighter.

"Rhys can get us a little one, one with it's own little crane for lifting it on and off!" she said with glee, running to get him to do just that.

"And the windows?" Jack asked, interested in this Bait idea.

"We fill the entire thing with some fire foam, to bursting. It will look like there is something inside right?" Ianto shrugged, "About… two extinguishers should do it?"

"I will help move them to the SUV after we eat" Owen said around a mouthful of garlic bread as the kids arrived and yelled with glee, settling to eat with gusto.

Plenty to go around.

Johnny even found a little appetite there too.


	12. disrobed ones

Ianto knew he should have seen this coming but as he sat there in the unconformable white jumpsuit he pondered how quickly this had all gone down. And he couldn't help but shake his head and smile at the silliness of it all.

"Something funny?" Herathia snarled and Ianto could only shrug.

Yeah.

Pretty bloody funny really.

Like an old black and white comedy sketch.

.

.

.

.

Ianto had travelled in the back of the SUV, Jack and Owen up front as Gwen was in the truck with Rhys. They went into the warehouse to get the telephone box and to their delight the windows were already changed out for mirrors. MIRRORS! Two way ones so whoever was inside it could see out. Apparently it had been in a garden as some weird feature used at garden parties … whatever. Kinky. Jack decided straight away it was by the pool in the secluded corner for those making out to be perved on.

Owen liked that idea too.

Ianto did not partake of the painting, his suit the last one he had at the Hub. A three piece number with the soft charcoal shot wit flecks of silver and the lining a bright gaudy orange that had shocked him at first, but had grown in him with time. Especially since Jack liked this one too.

They waited for the paint to dry before lifting it into the truck and Ianto was sure it looked the part, Jack clapping his hands with glee. Ianto was going to travel back in the truck but Gwen suddenly decided she needed the passenger seat in the SUV, Owen packing a snot as he hates the back seat so he got to go with Rhys and the 'Turdis' as Owen kept calling the fake Tardis.

Annoying little shit.

So anyway, back to the story. So … here they are travelling along and from out of nowhere a bloody armoured vehicle slams into the side of the SUV and Ianto knows without even checking that Jack ws killed on impact. Thank god Gwen was the passenger side and the air bags worked. Also, Ianto being on the same side behind her in the back so he could talk with Jack meant he slammed into the seat in front of him, the seatbelt not doing the full job there and he woke to find himself in the back of van.

He had panicked at first until Owen's voice roared down the coms to Toshiko and he could hear Gwen yelling at Jack to wake the fuck up in the background. They had targeted the UV. But why. Wasn't it the Tardis they…ooooooooo.

Ianto had allowed himself to be manhandled out of the van, rightly dragged to a room and stripped naked. More than one had paused to look at the multitude of scars, one even asking about the one on his hip.

"Canary Warf." He replied calmly "A Cyberman did that."

"Shit" the man shuddered "Hate those feckin things. Robots. Will take over the world one day! Isaac Asimov had that right!"

"Not on my shift" Ianto had replied before kicking himself for het again appearing to be what they had wanted. Oh well. Concussion makes him mouthy.

He watched his lovely suit go into the bag and with a heavy heart listened to them tell the one they handed it to that it had to go straight into the incinerator in case of tracking devices or bugs. Bugger. So… slippers and a white overall thing like he was some sort of decontaminated refugee was thrust at him and he was told to cover up. He did so as one of the others remarked in a guttural language to another who laughed. Ianto didn't need a translator to know it was his manhood that was spoken about as the one speaking moved his hands out to show a healthy eight inch area.

Now here he sits. This silly bitch preening and crowing that she has him now.

Only… she doesn't know which 'him' she has.

"Madam, let me take a moment to…"

"No! You have no more time left" she scoffed with glee "finally… finally you are mine and I have the power now. You can go back and tell yourself to leave me alone, to stop the…"

"MADAM! I cannot and would not go anywhere with or for you!" Ianto said in his loudest 'church' voice. "I am not a Timelord!"

Her finger that was pointed at him withered slightly as she blinked "What?"

"I am not the Doctor."

"But… of course you are" she resumed her scoffing "That suit and the blue box and…and…"

"One heart?" Ianto raised an eyebrow "Madam. I think this is more than enough."

"But… wait. If you are not him … why did you let us do this? Why not fight back, defend yourself." She frowned "Of course you are the Doctor."

"Unfortunately for you… I am not" Ianto sighed "You see… he would have talked his way out of these restraints, taught you the error of your ways and left you with a new outlook on life. I am afraid I do not do that sort of thing. Besides … I am not here for that."

"Then… why are you here?"

Ianto canted his head and whispered to her so softly she had to lean in to hear "The clothing you binned was my favourite suit. Jack's favourite suit. He will be so pissed that he didn't' think about the possibility of you doing that when he set me up as bait for you."

She drew back "Bait … wait. No … we searched you, we … we…"

"Oh, yes. Your men searched me so carefully, uncomfortably so. No. You see … I swallowed it" Ianto smiled sweetly "The tracking device is inside me … why the scanners didn't detect it. All this time I have sat here while you spouted you rhetoric… I was waiting for them to get the triangulation right."

"They?"

The alarms went off and red lights started flashing, as they do right about now. Ianto leaning back in the char to fold his arms and say patiently "That they. And I gotta warn ya … Jack is gonna be sooo displeased with you."


	13. knock knock boom

"But… the scans show you are not human!" she wailed "Not totally… not like them!"

"No... I was." Ianto agreed "You see … I spend a lot of time around the Rift, the Rift energy flows ya know… seeps into your pores. Make it easier for me to fool gadgets. Also… I think the fact my boss is an intergalactic playboy adds to my mystique… right? You did a body scan… showed an anomaly. Of course it did. We just had sex… his jizz would have told you a gazillion things. All these questions you have now… That is why I am here Madam. To find you. And now we have. You see … we have questions too"

"I can kill you. Your boss would not put you in danger like this!" she tried another tactic, looking at him like she had all the answers all of a sudden.

"No … I am expendable. We all are. To him … we are. Don't you get that yet? You? Me? City block? A planet?" Ianto laughed softy as his hand flicked around the room "all of this… expendable."

She seemed to ponder this for a while as she paced, then she paused, turning to stare at him "Your hands are free."

"Yes"

"You idiots" she spun on her men "Did you not fucking cuff him?"

"They did" Ianto smiled softly, folding his arms now as he let the cuffs fall onto the table in front of him.

"You… how did you do that?" she demanded.

"Same way I can do anything I want. I am not bound by your silly laws. I am not you, not one of you. Hark… is that distant thunder? Was a storm predicted tonight? Or is that just a pissed off Boeshanninan knocking on your door with some high explosives?" Ianto canted his head as he let his humor thrum, remembering that the file said she was empathic. He hoped like hell she felt it. Bitch was soooo stupid. All her men in this one room … no one watching the door… the door that blew in, Owen following with a staggering run of glee as he proceeded to spray the room with bullets. Jack let him. He knew it was empty, had already scanned it so he knew Owen was pretty damned safe… but it was funny to watch.

Ianto found it funny too, watching the screen in the corner of the room as the camera relayed Jack stomping past with the coat flying back to reveal Bertha. Oh boy … things were gonna get a little intense.

"Bertha" Ianto said suddenly, "Shit… he's serious here sweetheart!"

"But… what …" she was foundering, clearly recognizing the ex-Time Agent that had moved in the same circles once upon a time… killed some of her fellow board members as well. "Is that… is that one Hartty or… Javic?"

"Hartty"" Ianto repeated then felt the babbling laughter as he learnt John's true name. Oh boy. Hartty? Really? "No… that's Jack!"

She was turning to her men "Don't just stand there you gormless apes… do something. He's going to…"

They were moving with speed and then stopped as she did, all spinning to see her standing there with her mouth still open, nothing coming out as Ianto stood with his hand gently on her arm.

"You know" he whispered softly "These new Retcon Patches of Owen's are far more superior to the facial spray he is working on. You never saw it on my skin… immune ya know."

Her mouth opened, nothing came out as she blinked at him. He smiled and said softly "It's OK. Tell them to go home, they are not required anymore."

"Whaaaaaaa" she was stuck. Broken. Ianto wondered if Owen needed to pull back on the base element a little.

"Oh and boys?" Ianto called after them as they slowly filed out "The Blowfish gave you up. They happily told us you were here, it's all on them!"

"Ianto!" Jack's voice purred down the coms "We didn't agree to that you naughty boy. Ooooo, cat amongst the pigeons or is it shark amongst the guppies?"

"Either way… mission accomplished sir. Let them fight one another for a while" Ianto muttered as he turned to face the door. The door, ya know… the door that few back with Bertha's 'Knock' not only slamming into the feckless woman but propelling her back into the far wall as well.

"Ooops" Jack said as he stood in the doorway "Was that not even locked?"

"Sir… when will you lean to turn the handle?" Ianto scolded, rolling his eyes as Owen slammed in to the room and started leaping around like it was a weird interpretive dance. Ianto blinked as he watched him "Owen? You Ok there? Not snorted some of their stash or anything?"

Nah…nah. All good. Yeah. Er… what? Yeah. Just clearing the room" Owen said with glee.

"Let him go … it was a long car ride for him" Jack said to Ianto with a soft smile.

Ianto nodded and started plugging in sticks to all the modems he could find, Toshiko excitedly downloading everything off the servers and any Tec Ianto could plug her into.

Owen continued to dance.

Jack looked at the woman moaning in the floor and wondered if that Dead or Alive bounty on her head was still in effect. Might be worth something.


	14. let me tell you this

Well it didn't take much to get John Hart's attention. There mere mention of a bounty had him appearing with glee, taking her off their hands with an eagerness once he saw who it was and promising to return with 'something' to say thanks. Ianto shuddered to think what that might possibly be.

They met with UNIT and closed what files they could cleaned up what they could and agreed to let UNIT have what they didn't want. It was after this when Ianto was cleaning up the meeting room, after the debrief that Jack found him and closed the door softly, effectively locking them both in. Ianto noticed, pretended that he didn't and continued to shove things into the trolley's areas for cleaning or rubbish. Yes. He has a tea trolley. So?

"Ianto, do you have a moment for a private conversation? Just us?" Jack asked as he pulled out a chair and settled to watch anther plate get scraped into a bucket before slipping it underneath the top tier.

"Hmmm?"

"Ianto? Care to take a seat? I want to speak to you" Jack said, still calm.

Ianto glanced at him and seemed to waiver, then place down the plate of mess, settling opposite Jack with mild interest. Also confusion. He never annoyed Ianto when cleaning. This was a cathartic thing for him, almost like a form of therapy making things clean and uniform. Control amongst the chaos. Ya know? Jack always waited for him to come to him afterwards. Whatever the conversation was going to be, he felt he should give Jack the attention he was asking for.

"Ianto. I just wanted to take the time, just you and me alone here, to tell you that… well … you are worth more to me than a faint memory some day."

Ianto blinked.

OK, not the conversation he was expecting and this felt a little weird to tell the truth. "Huh?"

"What you said to her. About being expendable, like everyone else… I just wanted to take a moment here to tell you that you mean something to me. That… I do not want to lose you, know one day I must but until then… I will never…NEVER… willingly place you in a situation where you…"

"Stop. That's not fair" Ianto interrupted "you can't place me above anyone else. This is a team and…"

"I care for you!" Jack said forcefully, then rubbed his face and finally said "Ianto... I love you!"

"Don't!" Ianto rose with something akin to anger "don't use that word. You know what it means to me. You know… don't use such a strong… forceful and time eclipsing word like it's not that…. Jack. To tell someone you love them is to give your heart and soul. I know that is not possible here."

"And yet, here we are. Ianto. Just this one time, I needed to say it out loud. Not just for your ears... for mine too. To make it real. Solid. I will mourn you, miss you and never forget you." Jack rose so they were facing one another again "I promise. You have made a dent here in this armour I try so hard to keep the world out with. I swear to you. You are someone special to me."

"Jack…I…"

"Don't' say it back. I know already. I also know what it costs you to say it… don't. Just know that… I know. I just want to make sure you know too. This is not a game for me, not some sort of… dabbling, no matter what I might tell others to protect us. To protect you. There are people who would hurt you to hurt me. I mean… want can they do to me? Hurting you… would kill me a thousand times over. You get that?"

Jack was now holding Ianto's arms, looking deep onto his eyes as he whisper "we never have to use the L word again. Not with the power it wields. Know that the day I lose you… I will destroy the entire world if I have to in order to avenge you. Understand?"

Ianto answered with a searing kiss that left them both breathless.

Then a loud thud sounded making them both jump and Ianto swung to find a body part sliding down the glass wall of the meeting room, down in the Hub Owen stood with his hands on his hips and a look of annoyance.

"OI!" he shouted up at them "Do that on your own time!"

Ianto blinked, then started to snort with amusement as Jack gaped. For once Jack seemed lost for words, the usual comeback not there.

"Cheeky little shit" Jack finally spluttered.

"The real question is… who is cleaning that off the glass?" Ianto pointed to the large smear.

"Yes. Right" Jack stormed off to give Owen an earful as Ianto took a moment to lower himself into chair and let things settle in his mind.

He would destroy the world to avenge him.

Ianto wondered if he would ever wield such a power in his last moments, if he would dare call down that level of commitment from Jack and hoped like hell that when his final moment came… he would die with honour.

And would not have to ask Jack to fulfil such a promise.

For hopefully… no one would ever do something on such a global scale to warrant such wrath.

.

.

.

.

This is where I shall end this, it was supposed to be a small brain cleanser … became a little more. As we know… in the end Ianto did die with honour, his last words calling in that promise with the tragic yet final results.

But of course… what else would Jack do when he lost Ianto … nothing else mattered but the need to fill that cold void with a wrathful heat of revenge.

Thanks for reading. Glad I let this go further than the first 6 chaps. Hope you enjoyed xxxx


End file.
